I use to really hate my tan skin. As an asian milky, smooth, and pale equaled beauty. You should have no blemishes. Being tan ment you're from the country side so considered ugly. People would make fun of you blacky or charcoal.

I had naturally tan skin which equalled I can never have the milky skin that I've always dreamed of. I had blemishes. I was teribly shy. I was short. Even though I knew having milky skin was impossible I always stayed in the shade and wore suncream. But that only resulted in getting a sickly yellowish tan. Which made me feel even worst. But I think I kept at it for a long time.

But now I love my tan skin. I am always out in the sun. It's weird, call me shallow but seeing other beautiful tan asian people made me more confident. Why does being tan have to mean you're ugly? Why does being black have to mean you're dirty? I wonder why people became to think like this. I wonder why I began to think like this.

The media should hire more tan asians and have them try to make them the mainstream beautiful asians.

YAY TAN PEOPLE!

Today, this month... I don't know.. it's time for college but I probably arn't even accepted to one place. I hope I'm not unable to even attend community college.

______ always complains about how she always fights with parents about college...

[The below was written really small]

She's going to  Berkley for crying out loud... I wish I can do that.....

Goals in life

1. make lots of money

2. buy my mom something nice with my first pay check...

3. sigh... I feel horrible...

this feeling is horrible...

I feel like a useless person...

sigh... i want to cry

i wish i can be something great for my parents...

i truely do....

ARG!!!! AHHHHH

stupid internet! It's so annoying you'd think that technology would make lives simpler and more entertaining but all it does is make life more complicated and annoying! ARRRRG! STupid and I hate my dad. I respect him and all for helping buying food to the table and stuff but he angers me! he gets home goes straight to the computer and watches drama or whatever on the computer then my mom gets home and then she cooks my dad eats and when he's done he doesn't help clean the dishes or anything! He just goes right back to his lovely computer and that's all he does. watch stuff on his computer. h enever says everything to me. He never even talks to me or responds to my questions to him. I do not lov emy father. I don't hate him but he's jsut sooooo annoying! ARG!!! >:O I hate him!

Please help me god to not feel this way. I don't talk back anymore simply because I dont want to cause anything to happen I want to but I wont. Dang I'm feeling so mad right now! I like listening to rock when I'm mad.

Well there are 8 more days until summer. tomorrow, I have japanese final. I wish all the finals were on different dates like kanji Thur. Then grammar Friday and so on. =( I hope I do well on the kanji test tomorrow. I hope I do well on my test tomorrow! I want to believe in myself and the fact that I will be able to do this but it's just so hard! I hope I do well tomorrow! Let be do well!!

Well, Today I woke up at 9AM it's memorial day today. I slept at 3AM yesterday so sad. Only 6 hours of sleep. I'm PQing in maple story.

lime wire: May 30, 2005 downloaded WOW I like american music I downloaded some songs and they were really nice! hehe like eric clapton "tears in heaven"